Tonight's Prayer

Lord God, thank you for keeping me safe when that car hit the taxi kanina.  Thank you for your constant reminder that I still have a mission and purpose in this life you're giving me.  Thank you for also reminding me that life can be really short so I really need to spend time with the people I really love.

Lord, I need not speak any word but I know you know what my heart and soul is feeling right now.  You know so well that I'm really tired of these heartache.  Please heal me Lord.  Day by day, I am trying to live and always trying to choose happiness.  But there are really times, like nights like these, that it gets really painful for my weary heart to bear.

I know that the pain is and will always be there.  I think that as time goes by, it doesn't necessarily disappear, I just get used to it.

For now, I am comforted by the fact that I know, in Your right time, all these pain will make sense. For now, please bless me with enough courage to face everyday with strong faith in your plan for me.

I also pray for the victims of Typhoon Yolanda.  Please help them start a new life.  May they feel your embrace in these trying times.

As always, I pray for my family.  Please continue guiding them and keeping them safe from any harm or disease.

Lastly, I pray for him.  I still don't know why I have grown to love him so much despite of everything and of all the hurts.  Ikaw lang yata nakakaalam Lord bakit I can't bring myself to hate him.  Now that I can't be with him as often as I would like to, please also keep him safe and allow him to be happy with his new love.  You know from the very start, I just want him to find his true happiness.

Thank you Lord for all the blessings.  I am lifting everything to You.

Nice Rings and Some Random Stranger

Today was a more relaxing day at work for me.  I just had a whole day meeting with the other supervisors from our department para sa big event namin on Friday.  I'm excited sa event dahil first time magkakasama ung North and Central Luzon team ko.  Yipee!!!

 

In fairness sakin, I was able to postpone some of the requested reports.  Sabi ko next week na lang dahil I really have to focus on the upcoming event.  I'm going to teach "Powerpoint Presentation Skills".  My, oh my, pressure.  Syempre I have to practice what I preach.  First time ko rin 'to ituturo so kahit medjo alanganin ako, I really have to look and appear credible sa audience.  *Goodluck talaga sakin*

 

Anyway, one of the sales directors, who requested a report today, thanked me for the support I'm giving daw to his area.  Ang bongga nia, sabi nia, "You are my hero".  Kahit alam kong medyo bola yun, nakakawala pa rin ng pagod.  At least I know that someone is really appreciating all my efforts.  Hopefully yang mga ganyang bola eh magtransform sa good year-end evaluation ulit.  ( Kaching! kaching!)  Pero syempre mahirap pa rin mag-expect.  Quota na ko sa paasa lang moments.  ***Shuuuu bad vibes!****

 

At dahil ako ang queen of report rejection today, umuwi ako ng maaga!!!  I went to the mall to look for a really nice dress para sa event.  Kaso sa puyat ko siguro, kahit ang dami ng sinukat ko, wala kong feel na bilin.  I don't want to look super bongga kasi pero I want to look nice for the pictures. I will just try again tomorrow and hopefully may mabili na ko.  Although kanina, what I bought is this really nice set of rings from Forever 21.  Love at first sight talaga, tapos nung sinuot ko na, pak na pak!  So kahit hindi ko talaga need, go ako sa counter para bilin agad, bago pa magbago ang isip ko. hahahaha. Iniisip ko na lang reward ko yan for the stressful week. 

 

 

Pag labas ko ng Glorietta, I was super hungry na so I ate at Teriyaki Boy.   Dati I really don't like eating alone.  As in naiiyak ako pag ginagawa ko yun, kaso sa work ko, I eventually got used to it.  So I ate alone kanina, "me time" lang talaga.  Super quiet and peaceful lang ng feeling ko.  Parang I'm recharging physically.  It was a nice random experience except for the fact na sa sobrang nag-eenjoy ako, ako na lang pala ang tao at nahiya naman ako. So I hurriedly asked for the bill so the crew there could go home na rin.

While I was on my home, some random stranger followed me, when I looked at him, sabi nia: "Makati Ave.  Can you teach me how to go to Makati Ave?".  Syet.  Di ko alam.  So I just said, "I suggest you just ride a cab,  it will be a really long walk if you just decide to walk".  I pointed a cab and smiled sweetly. Bait-baitan lang.  Tapos sabi nia, "Thank you, you have a really nice smile by the way".  Buti na lang mukha syang mabait kundi nagpanic na siguro ko.  I should never really talk to strangers pa rin.  Marami pa kong pangarap sa buhay. 

My Work/Inspiration Board

I need a laptop table.  Para pag nagwowork ako sa condo, I have somewhere to place my laptop and hindi lang sa lap ko kasi minsan umiinit sya.  I remembered Malen has one small laptop table, I tried borrowing it kaso hindi ko feel magwork dun eh. Then I remember Adrian's drawing board.  In our house sa Bulacan, I always borrow that board whenever I want to work in my bed.  So I fixed my small bag and hit the mall.  That's what I love about living in Makati, super convenient if you suddenly want to buy something or crave for anything. 

Syempre dahil nga super kilala ko ng best friend ko, she told me that I was just procrastinating and delaying my work.  My point naman sya kaso I really need something para mapush ko ung sarili kong magwork na. Tska dahil matagal napahinga ang creative juices ko (which I usually use before to think of surprises for someone special), I needed some outlet para mapractice ko naman sya.

When it comes to creativeness, I need materials first before thinking of something.  I'm not the type who thinks of ideas first then buy what she needs.  Ako, I usually go to National and check-out materials that I can use before I can think of what to do.  So while I was there, I bought the drawing board.  While I was looking at it, I saw the colorful papers, so I also bought a lot to cover the drawing board.  I was satisfied na sana but I passed by Tronix at Greenbelt so I thought of having some pictures printed para I can also put it on the drawing board to serve as my inspirations for working.  While I was browsing my phone, ang dami kong gustong ipaprint, then I thought baka kaya kong punuin ng pictures ung board.  I've always love taking pictures and I've always wanted a photo wall. I was super duper excited and kilig for this project.  =D

I love the colors that I used to cover the drawing board.  Its..ahmmm..so me..hahahaha.. Kaso it turned out konti pa rin pala napaprint kong pictures.  Note to self: get more pictures printed.  Super excited na mapuno ko ng maraming maraming maraming pictures tong board.

Cheers to more pictures and more awesome memories!!

PS:  Yes, I also finished my reports and was able to send it before midnight. hihihi

How my Best Friends Describe Me



Last weekend, Malen and I had this conversation sa Viber.  We were arguing discussing about love and commitment.   No one will ever dare question our closeness but when it comes to love, we are always on the opposite side of the situation and we really have different opinions on how to go about our respective relationships.

 

Yeah, for me that's love.. loving someone more than you love yourself.. so compromise is just one step behind of giving your all.  Pero I don't always compromise agad.  Actually, most of the time, I fight for what I think is right and best muna.  Kaso pag di umubra at masisira na totally ang relationship, then comes compromise.   

 

But one this is for sure, I'm never afraid to get hurt, basta give lang ng give.  Loka-loka lang ang peg kasi nga hatest question ko ang "what if".  Sabi ni Malen baka daw magkaiba kasi kami ng up-bringing.  Well siguro nga factor un.  Baka kaya I'm so brave to get hurt kasi I was showered of so much love and I know na I will never be sagad-to-the-bones-lonely kasi I will always have the most awesome family and friends behind me. Super blessed lang talaga.

 

 

 

While browsing naman our yearbook, ngayon ko lng ulit nabasa 'tong super witty write-up of Roanne about me.  As in tawa ko ng tawa when I read it again.  Mind her words:  fascinatingly unique, naughty but nice, engaging personality, absolute dedication, sugar spice and just about everything in between.  Nakakableed ng nose pero seryosong nakakataba ng puso at kaluluwa.

 

Sana kahit ilang years pa ang dumaan, when I ask her kung ako pa rin tong nasa description nia, sana she'll always say "yes" pa rin.



Cai naman gave me an unexpected letter na late ko na nabasa dahil I rarely read my personal email.  Sabi nia:

I don't get really mushy with things like this with you very often but yeah I will right now - I am damn lucky you're one of my bestfriends :) I really couldn't imagine life without you and malen and roanne. Thank you so much!! You deserve all the blessings that God is giving you right now because you're a wonderful and very loving person. I like how you would always see the good in every person and in every situation. I actually admire your inner strength, despite all the struggles you've been through you've manage to always come out really strong! :)

 

 

I must be doing something right in my life to deserve friends like these three lovely ladies.

  

A Productive Day (outside work)

Today I woke up thinking whether or not I should go home to Bulacan.  The sun is already up despite the warnings that it's signal number 2 in Manila (God bless the people in Visayas who are greatly affected by the storm) .  Actually, ang iniisip ko lang kanina is san ako makakapagwork but at the same time mapapahinga din ako.  Then my best friend, Malen asked me if I wanted to go with her to pick-up her dress and also find winter clothes.  I know I have some reports needed to be done but I said "yes, para may magawa naman akong iba aside from work".  Sabi nia, "yun din dapat sasabahin ko".  Yes, yes, my best friend knows me so well.  She even said she didn't talk to me the other night because super halata na I'm really tired, magsusungit lang daw ako.  Thankfully, we know each other too well to make tantsa of those kinds of moments.

We went to the couturier but unfortunately, the dress didn't fit her well so we were not able to take home the dress because they still need to make some adjustments.  This is really sad because this is probably the nth time that Malen went there thinking na super ok na ung dress.  Anyway, mas sayang naman if she just settle for less. 

We went to Cartimar afterwards to look for a store named "Winterhouse".  But before finding "winterhouse", we have to look for Cartimar first.  We both didn't know how to get there.  All I know is it is some place in Manila where you can buy shoes.  So we just went to LRT Buendia then asked the guard there if we still need to ride the LRT but thankfully there's a jeep na from there to Cartimar.  True enough, when we got there super daming shoes.  Malen said its mga Class A daw.  We found "winterhouse", its not malamig but they really have a variety of winter clothes.  Malen was able to buy a lot like 2 jackets, 2 gloves, 2 bonnets and a scarf.  Super good deal na for the price that she paid. 

We ate at Glorietta and passed by Payless to checkout some boots.  This may be Malen's lucky day because we found a really nice boots to go with the clothes she bought.  Buti na lang we didn't buy the one in Winterhouse kasi mas cheap and mas stylish ung nasa Payless.  Another good deal.

After fixing my clothes sa condo, I went outside again to get my nails done.  I tried the newly opened Posh nails near the condo.  I love the purple and pink theme of the place, super girly and relaxing.  I was also surprised to find out that Posh nails is much cheaper pa than Nail It in Glorietta.  I'm super happy that I have nice nails again. 

 

Then to make my day more productive, I cooked some veggies for my dinner.  I seldom cook but buttered veggies are among my favorite dishes that I can actually cook.  Super simple lang but I really like it especially the broccoli and cauliflowers. 

Super proud of myself because the only thing I did for work today is to send 2 text message to answer my team's question about a report. 

A day without pressure from work is just what I badly needed to recharge myself for the coming weeks.  =)

Work Life

I often tell my friends that professionally, I am where I want to be. Minsan naiisip ko, more than pa nga.  I get to travel, I get to choose which sales office I want to report to, I experienced to have a truly great boss, I have a chance to develop people and I have a lot more reasons to be happy. Kung pang-good vibes lang, marami ako nyan.  Feeling ko blessing ko naman to for not settling na sa comfortable na work. I was never scared of letting go when I start to feel na its not for me na (sana ganyan din ako katapang sa lovelife, haha)..

Kaso there are really weeks at work na kala mo wala ng bukas ang peg ng mga boss. Like this week, super-duper-busy-mode talaga and I'm really really tired. Even nung long weekend kasi I was working for the big meeting last tuesday.. I thought I could rest na after that meeting kaso no, sunod sunod pa rin ang hingi ng mga reports.. and its not easy-refresh lang reports.. its the kind of reports you think about first before actually doing it.. parang problem solving type of reports. I like those kinds of things kaso not naman sana right after that big meeting.

So there, until now dpa rin ako tapos sa problem solving and analysis ko. And I am dead tired. I need to go or buy something once matapos talaga lahat to.

I can't wait for my December vacation again with my ever great family.

Sabi ng HR on one of my trainings, dna daw uso ang term na "work life balance", work life integration na daw.. I guess hindi naman kasi ever kayang ibalance.. :)

In Between Holding On and Letting Go

I think everyone have gone through this stage where your heart can't decide whether you will hold on or just let it go.  I hate that stage. But unfortunately, my heart chose to stay in that stage for almost 2 years. 

Sa sobrang daming nangyari while I WAS at this stage, I tried writing some of my experiences.  I haven't finished writing it yet but someday I will try to finish this book.  Here's what I want to write at the back of the book.

It was not only love at first sight

With him, it was love at every sight.

 

When you meet a man who makes you fall in love over and over again, just by looking at you, will you ever find the courage to let go?

 

Sophie was in the perfect relationship with her close-to-perfect boyfriend of three years.  Her friends and family would have sworn that Mr. D was head over heels in love with her.  Gorgeous flower bouquets every month, spur of the moments gift and surprises, attending to all her needs and treating her like a princess in every way possible.  So when Sophie announced the break-up and Mr. D didn’t even try to win her back (even after months!), everyone was puzzled, and so was Sophie. 

 

Now Sophie is in between trying to win the love of her life back or letting go of a failed fairy tale.  There are times when she wants him out of her life but just one look from him and she’s back to square one. 

 

Will she be able to make Mr. D realize that what they had was one of a kind or will she finally find the strength to move on and live her life again?

CHOOSING HAPPINESS

October, my birth month, was super fun and kind to me.  Actually, one of my realizations this month, is that life has been super good to me even if I was not able to appreciate it often.  These past year, I have been busy trying to get something that I thought would really make me happy that I fail to be grateful for all the blessings that God has been continuously giving me.   

 

As I said in my Instagram account, my birthday this year made me realize that there are a lot of people who love me so much and that for them, I should start loving myself even more.  Because of these people why I tried to keep my mind's sanity even if I was going through some of the most painful and saddest moments in my life.  Without a doubt, sila ang sagot sa commercial question na, "para kanino ka bumabangon?"

 

I will not lie and tell everyone that I'm super ok and that I'm super happy but I am definitely CHOOSING to be HAPPY.  Day by day, one baby step a time, with the unconditional love of my sweet family and awesome friends,  I know I will get there.